Blowsy Beauty

The cheerful orange tulips that I bought a week ago are beginning to fade, wrinkle and wilt, like we all do as we age. Though our culture would like us to believe that there is no beauty in age, I disagree totally.

Blowsy Beauty

When I looked at the tulips this morning the words that popped into my mind were blowsy beauty. I looked up synonyms for the word blowsy, and was astonished at what a negative and anti-female connotation the word had.

Here is what the Merriam-Webster dictionary had to say about blowsy…

Synonyms & Antonyms of blowsy

lacking neatness in dress or person

• a large, blowsy woman in frumpy clothes runs the diner

Synonyms for blowsy

dowdy, frowsy, slobbish, slobby, sloppy, sloven, slovenly, unkempt, untidy

Words Related to blowsy

slatternly, chaotic, cluttered, confused, disarranged, disheveled,…messy,…dirty, filthy,…unclean…

   — Merriam-Webster online thesaurus

 

My idea of blowsy and the dictionary’s definition definitely don’t match. I prefer my version.

And I stand by my choice of the words blowsy beauty to describe the state of my tulips AND to see beauty in blowsy-ness.

When I look in the mirror these days I see wrinkles and crepey skin on my neck, age spots on my face, and gray in my hair. I could accept the cultural view of age and feel diminished or try to cover it up or “fix” it. Or I can choose to see beauty in these signs of aging. They are my mementos of a life lived.

We change and the life around us changes all the time. Denying or fighting the inevitable changes of life do not often bring joy or happiness. But finding meaning and beauty in your circumstances, no matter what they are can bring contentment and even joy.

I prefer to find the beauty in aging rather than to long for the way I used to be.

“Alchemists in the Middle Ages were intent on discovering the philosopher’s stone, a legendary substance that could turn iron into gold. Their efforts mirror the timeless attempt of humans to control life rather than face it, by turning what we don’t like into something else…When we resist both things — as-they-are and how we feel about what-is, we pour our efforts into turning things into gold, a misrepresentation that can occupy our energy and worth for years. When we can face what we’re given and feel our feelings all the way through, we find the value — the gold — in everything and in ourselves.”

   — Mark Nepo, The Endless Practice

So here’s to blowsy women and flowers. They are both full of beauty and light.

May you walk in beauty.