One breath at a time

As I continue to navigate my way through this momentous and calamitous year of 2020 with worldwide pandemic, contentious elections looming, continuing racial injustice across our country,  destructive fires on the west coast, hurricanes and floods in the south, and the sad death of Supreme Court Justice, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, last week, I’m having a hard time staying present and calm.

As I see it, things are going to be difficult for a long time no matter what happens this fall. There is no magic wand or silver bullet that can get us out of the messes we are in. There is no going back to the way things were. And there is no savior who will rescue us.

It may be tempting to numb out with whatever your favorite numbing agent is (intoxicants, food, social media, Netflix, …) but I think it is more helpful to allow yourself to feel your feelings and to accept them, if only for

One breath at a time

Yesterday a friend called to check in on how I was doing. I answered her question, “How are you doing?” with a single word. “Grumpy” I growled. And I had been grumpy, with everything my husband said and did rubbing me the wrong way. Simply having my friend ask me how I was helped bring me back. As I relaxed into allowing myself to feel, tears began to well in my eyes and I realized that I was feeling unbearably sad for our country and the world.

I had been wanting to escape and go somewhere — anywhere, but here, now, in this country. Though the problem with “escaping” is that “wherever you go, there you are” (Jon Kabat-Zinn).

So I go back to the tools that I’ve been learning that help me to navigate calmly one breath at a time. Things like…

• meditation
• yoga
• loving kindness practice
• acceptance
• Byron Katie’s four questions known as “The Work”
• Tara Brach’s RAIN process (Recognize, Allow, Investigate, and Nurture)

There is so much division in this world. So what is really the path of healing? It can begin in this moment, by embracing the life that’s here.

   — Tara Brach

I am spending time outdoors every day soaking in the beauty and the light, the feeling of the soft breeze on my skin, the bright colors that are emerging, and the smell of fall in the air. Even though I still feel the sadness I am infinitely grateful for the beauty of each moment.

And though the world feels crazy all around me, I know that little things like sharing a smile, being kind, and sending out prayers of light and love can make a difference.

How are you feeling these days? What helps you to stay present and aware?

May you walk in beauty.