I’ve heard over and over again that people want to work on creative projects but they do not. Recently I noticed that I too have experienced this problem.

Last fall I took a watercolor painting class. Then I took another watercolor painting class. Now I am working on continuing my watercolor painting journey on my own.

It’s Hard To Keep Painting

This week I haven’t painted a single time. (I have made lots of photographs but not made a single brush stroke.) Time is not an issue. I have plenty of time. Materials and space are not an issue. I’ve got plenty of paper, paint, brushes, and work space.

Motivation isn’t an issue. I want to keep painting.

So what’s stopping me?

On Creating and Fear

I think it’s a combination of fear and not feeling confident as a painter. I want to paint “better” than I do. I’m often not sure what I want to paint and when I do paint I am disappointed with the results.

“To fully explore and experiment as an artist—to show up and be present, embrace vulnerability, and allow yourself to grapple with uncertainty and the unknown—you must trust yourself…

 

To express yourself in your art, to search for your truth, you must first master yourself—a never-ending wresting match with the dark angels of self-doubt.

                 —Nancy Hills,  The Artist’s Journey: Trust, Play, Love, Paint

Even though I have committed myself to playing and exploring in my painting, I still find myself wanting to paint “better.”

There is a gap between what I want to believe—that the joy of creating is all that matters—and what I actually believe—that what I create is more important than how I create.

It’s in this invisible gap where I get stuck and where I believe a lot of creatives get stuck. How does one overcome this?

Committing to regular creative practice

I believe that one of the best ways is to create a regular creative practice (daily if possible) beginning with “workouts” that are meant to be thrown away (or re-worked). It’s that first step into the studio that gets me going—sitting down, picking up the paintbrush and beginning. Once I begin painting, the joy of it kicks in and keeps me going.

“Stepping into our studios to face the blank canvas is stepping into a place of ‘not knowing’ — an experience of vulnerability.” — Nancy Hills, The Artist’s Journey: Trust, Play, Love, Paint

Committing to regular practice is the beginning of growing as an artist.

“To be an artist you must create. You can list a million reasons for putting off showing up and doing your work. All these reasons come down to one thing: resistance. And the deeper truth is, this resistance comes from fear. Fear shows up in various guises: self-doubt, inner criticism, second-guessing, overthinking, procrastinating, avoiding, being bored, resisting, repeating what’s worked before, copying others, looking to others for approval, despondency, resignation, and so forth.” — Nancy Hills, The Artist’s Journey: Trust, Play, Love, Paint

Fortunately I’ve moved to the point in my photography where I don’t need to work hard to get started. All I need is a camera and a few flowers or another interesting subject and I’m off and playing. The joy of the process keeps me picking up my camera almost every day. But it wasn’t always that way for me.

A Self-reinforcing habit

My regular photography practice over years and the joy that it brings me has made the practice of photography a self-reinforcing habit for me. Fear no longer keeps me from creating photographically.

When you think about creating and fear, think about committing to a regular creative practice.

What keeps you from creating or helps you to create?

May you walk in beauty.

Note: Today’s photos are of a spring bulb garden that contains tiny daffodils, grape hyacinths, tiny blue flowers (I don’t know what they are), and tulips (thought no tulip buds have popped up yet).

Note 2: Two books about creating that I’ve been enjoying are: The Artists Journey: Trust, Play, Paint and Love by Nancy Hills and Conscious Creativity: look, connect, create by Philippa Stanton