Navigating Through Heavy Weather

With the continuing swullocking weather (yes swullocking is really a word and it means hot humid weather) and air quality warnings I did not go anywhere with my camera this week. Instead I paid attention to the beauty all around me in my home environment. But even with all the beauty I saw and experienced this has been a difficult week for me.

Navigating Through Heavy Weather

Someone dear to me is going through a tough time and it’s hit me harder than I thought it would. At first I thought that I was handling it well and congratulated myself on being more mindful and present but as the days have passed I’ve had difficulty sleeping, waking in the middle of the night and ruminating on things. My temper has frayed and I’ve been snapping at Jon. At times I’ve felt deep sadness. And of course I’m worrying about things over which I have no control.

Today, I learned of the loss of David Hussman, a friend from my work in the Agile Software Development community. He died peacefully yesterday after a year and a half battle with cancer. I met David through my work at Medtronic and was always amazed at his wisdom, compassion, and joie de vivre. He was a book lover like I am and always had an interesting new read to recommend.

Our paths crossed probably fewer than a dozen times but his larger than life energy, deep thinker mind, and positive spirit made a big impression on me. He lived life fully and joyfully, was a “what if” person full of possibility, passionate about music and diverse interests, intelligent, thoughtful and caring. Known as “The Dude” in Agile Software development circles, David taught Agile Software Development workshops and consulted around the world. He was a bright light taken too soon and he will be missed.

Seeing the maps of the fires in the western United States and Canada and feeling the effects of the smoke here has been a sobering and frightening experience. Is this the new normal? I feel as if climate change is  rapidly changing life globally and feel quite helpless in engaging in effective change to mitigate its effect.

And on top of that it’s August already and the days of summer are beginning to wane. The tree in our front yard has begun dropping its leaves. Sadness rises in me as I wish that summer could last longer and winter be further away.

Right now, as I write this, tears are tracing tracks down my cheeks. I’m not sure if I’m crying for myself or my loved one or for David’s family’s loss or for the world.

The question is what to do while navigating through heavy weather.

Everyone goes through heavy weather at some times in their lives. This is a part of everyone’s life, like it or not.

“If there is anywhere on earth a lover of God who is always kept safe, I know nothing of it, for it was not shown to me. But this was shown: that in falling and rising again we are always kept in that same precious love.”
― Julian of Norwich

Be Kind to Yourself (and others)

I think it’s a time for deep self-acceptance. Here I am feeling these feelings. Better to accept and allow them to flow than to say, “I shouldn’t be feeling this way.”

Ask for help if you need it. Let those who love you know what you are feeling. Be compassionate with yourself and others. Look for things to be grateful for if you can. See the beauty of the world. Light a candle. Meditate. Pray. Eat well.

Spend time in nature

There is nothing more healing and helpful to me than walking in the woods. There, the cycles of life surround me. I see that life begins, grows, and ends and all is right, all is beautiful. It is an endless cycle, ever repeating.

“All shall be well, and all shall be well and all manner of thing shall be well.”
― Julian of Norwich

Do what you love

I cut a few flowers that were blooming outside my kitchen window and placed them inside tiny vases on my kitchen windowsill.  While shopping at the Food Coop I found beautiful tiny pears that I used to create still life photos. I used a cracked Fiesta Ware bowl that was my mother-in-law’s as a photo prop in a still life with pears. The beautiful leaves of a  begonia plant my husband gave me for our anniversary placed in a tiny vase in the window sill make me smile when I see them. At a friend’s house, I photographed her artful flower arrangements.

Know that joy and sorrow can both be present in your heart at the same time.

May you walk in beauty.