Quiet Time at Noerenberg Garden

The Trouble with Bucket Lists

Since the idea of creating a bucket list (a list of things you want to do before you die) became a trend in our culture, it seems everyone is talking about their bucket list. I frequently see social media posts with lots of selfies of people doing things on their bucket list, photos of bucket lists with items crossed off, and blog posts listing ideas for things to add to your bucket list.

It has begun to feel like a competitive sport.

As a photographer, it might sound like a great idea to make a list of all the places I want to go to photograph. But I’m not comfortable with that or with the idea of creating a bucket list. As I visualize such a list I see myself in my mind’s eye running around capturing (have I mentioned how much I dislike the phrase, “Nice capture!”) photographs of everything on my bucket list without relaxing into the experience or feeling the awe, wonder, and joy of just being there.

I vividly remember a trip our family took to Yellowstone many years ago. While we were standing in awe of a view of the Yellowstone River, a couple pushed in front of us with their video camera, taking a short video of the sight, then quickly turning around and rushing on to the next sight. There was not even a moment where they stopped to appreciate the view or soak it in. It was just a “capture” instead of an experience.

What is the point of the rush to acquire experiences?

Bucket lists feel too much like a consumerist, acquisitive activity, sort of like writing a big shopping list. In my mind I hear the refrain, “And I want to do this and this and this…”

The problem with that is that instead of building on and appreciating who I am and what I have, I’m always looking to be more or experience more.

What I am and have is never enough.

When I notice myself endlessly planning the places I want to go or the workshops I want to take or the experiences I want to have, I know that there is something in my now I am resisting. Somehow I am feeling like I am not enough or this moment is not enough or I am attempting to bury grief, anger, or pain by focusing my attention elsewhere.

If my doing comes from wanting to be more, have more, experience more, then I need to step back into the present moment, take time for doing nothing, practice gratitude, and notice the ordinary miracles that my life consists of.

Creating a bucket list may work for you but for me it’s just another attempt to fill an existential void. I would rather spend my time learning to be open and vulnerable, focusing on making real connections with real people, being human.

Bucket lists are a distraction from the business of being human. We are meant to connect to each other, not acquire more and more experiences. Listening to what brings me joy in each moment teaches me about how it is I need to live far more than some list of cool things to do.

May you walk in beauty.

Note: Last evening I spent a perfectly wonderful hour or more wandering at Noerenberg Garden overlooking Lake Minnetonka with my camera. The evening light and the wonderful flowers and nature filled my soul. The photographs in this post were made with love sprinkled with joy and presence, not captured!