Beautiful Contradictions

This time of year I am filled with so many contradictory feelings about the season. On one hand I see such astonishing beauty, even as more and more of the trees’ leaves fall to the ground,. On the other hand I dread the long months of bare branches and cold weather ahead. I have loved the warm gentle autumn we have had this year. And at the same time it raises my concerns over how quickly climate change is occurring.

The more I ponder life, love, and loss the more I believe that life is filled with

and the only constant that I’m aware of is change. Which, if you think about it, is also a contradiction.

Holding the both/and nature of life lightly and never too tightly may be the secret of living with joy even in times like these. I cannot remember a time in my life when I felt so much concern for the world (climate change, war, famine) and our country (politics and the huge divide in how we think as a nation).

I voted early and for about a week after I voted I felt a sense of relief. Okay, I thought, I’ve voted my conscience and hopefully others will also vote to support our democracy. But now, my anxiety about the future of our country is racheting up again.

So I go to the woods and walk to calm my spirit. I go out with my camera and create photos. And I meditate and pray. I’ve also been intentionally connecting with friends and family more often. Finally I try to let go and work on staying present in the moment.

Sometimes I contemplate the great mystery of life, the vastness of the universe, the miracle that I exist here now in this moment in time and I’m able to let go of worries and concerns. Embracing it all, gazing at starry night skies, experiencing the wild mercy of living here, now.

Singing in dark,
Calling up the day,
Joining with the voices,
Opening the way,
Sitting here in vigil,
Waiting for the spark,
That bursts into being,
Singing in the dark.

— Carrie Newcomer, Song Lyrics, Singing in the Dark

We’re all singing in the dark, not knowing exactly the way forward, doing what we can, lighting sparks along the way. Wishing you beautiful contradictions and sparks of occasional enlightenment.

May you walk in beauty.

Note: Today’s photos from time spent contemplating and wandering around Minnesota Landscape Arboretum Monday with a friend. All photos made with my iPhone.