Don’t Hesitate!

One of my favorite photos from my 3-month trip to the Big Island of Hawaii in 2012-2013

Yesterday I had reservations for a house concert (well actually an outdoor yard concert). Ann Reed and Joan Griffith were playing and singing at a small gathering at Sun Dog Farm near Maple Plain, MN. I love Ann Reed’s music and I’ve been to concerts at this farm before. I had made plans with my youngest daughter to attend the concert together.

Then yesterday morning I began questioning whether I really wanted to go. It’s been so long since I’ve been there, maybe I’ll feel weird not knowing anyone else there. And what about the heat? Will I be too hot? They said there will be a lot of people attending. Will there be enough parking for everyone? And what about mosquitoes and stinging insects? Maybe my daughter doesn’t really want to go to the concert. I don’t want to be a bother. On and on I went.

All sorts of scripts were running in my brain! But I overcame my hesitation and went. And I’m here to say as Mary Oliver has said in one of her poems…

Don’t Hesitate!

As an introvert it’s all too easy for me to make up all sorts of reasons for not going out and doing things that I know I love. It’s as if I have a built in internal inertia I have to overcome. I suspect that extroverts do not have that problem.

Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt.

   — William Shakespeare

Sometimes I don’t overcome my internal inertia to attend an event. And sometimes when I do overcome my inertia, I’m disappointed. But more times than not, if I go, I’m glad I went and my life is enriched by it. It seems that this is a lesson that I continue to learn, even as I grow older. If I have an opportunity to do something I love, do it!

Yesterday’s outdoor concert was an amazing, magical, beautiful experience! We sat in the shade of a tall maple tree, in a mish-mash of camp chairs and lawn chairs scattered around a small wooden stage. If I looked toward the stage area I saw Ann and Joan performing beautifully and behind them tall trees, the treetops illuminated by the late afternoon sunlight. Slightly to the left and beyond the trees was a beautiful open field. On the other side, fruit trees and flowers.

As Ann sang and Joan played various instruments to accompany Ann’s singing, birds flew back and forth overhead. One time a bird landed in a nearby tree and began to trill along with music. The temperature was perfect and bugs didn’t bother me. Both I and my daughter enjoyed the music and the mellow crowd of people all around us.

An Invitation to Linger

The beauty of sitting there surrounded by nature combined with the beautiful folk music filled me to the brim with joy. Yes, I thought, yes! Why don’t I seek out this kind of experience more often?

Magic, magic, magic! The beauty, birds, soft breeze, and music reminded me of this poem by (who else?) Mary Oliver…

Invitation

Oh do you have time
to linger
for just a little while
out of your busy

and very important day
for the goldfinches
that have gathered
in a field of thistles

for a musical battle,
to see who can sing
the highest note,
or the lowest,

or the most expressive of mirth,
or the most tender?
Their strong, blunt beaks
drink the air

as they strive
melodiously
not for your sake
and not for mine

and not for the sake of winning
but for sheer delight and gratitude –
believe us, they say,
it is a serious thing

just to be alive
on this fresh morning
in the broken world.
I beg of you,

do not walk by
without pausing
to attend to this
rather ridiculous performance.

It could mean something.
It could mean everything.
It could be what Rilke meant, when he wrote:
You must change your life.

   — Mary Oliver

This being alive, being here now, is all practice. Figuring out what fills me up and then seeking out experiences that do that. And figuring out what depletes me and takes away my energy, and avoiding that. There is no balance in life I think, there is only seeking balance, tilting this way and that and staying upright if I can. Choosing love, choosing beauty, choosing joy.

May you walk in beauty.