As I gazed at still more photographs from my short walk at the Minnesota Landscape Arboretum last week, one photo stood out to me as a perfect expression of happiness. It was a constellation of orange zinnias all in glorious bloom. That led me to wonder
What Makes You Happy
and is happiness different than joy?
Although I’m not a psychologist or someone who studies emotions, I believe that happiness and joy are different though they often overlap.
We need happy moments and happiness in our lives; however, I’m growing more convinced that the pursuit of happiness may get in the way of deeper, more meaningful experiences like joy and gratitude. I know, from the research and my experiences, that when it comes to parenting, what makes children happy in the moment is not always what leads them to developing deeper joy, grounded confidence, and meaningful connection.
― Atlas of the Heart: Mapping Meaningful Connection and the Language of Human Experience
Little things like a small piece of dark chocolate at the end of a good meal, a happy orange zinnia in the garden, the light turning green just before I arrive at an intersection, make me happy. It’s more of a passive feeling. Something happened. I feel happy.
Happiness is like rising bubbles — delightful and inevitably fleeting. Joy is the oxygen — ever present.
Happiness is always passing through. It can claim your full attention for the ten seconds it takes to swallow a sip of incredible coffee. Or it can stream through your being for weeks on end. But happiness can’t hold the same space as sadness, or anger, or the range of so-called “negative” emotions for very long. This is why it’s transitory.
Joy is the fibre of your Soul. It’s the stuff of your essence. And since you, your Soul, can never be annihilated (yes, that would make you eternal and omnipresent), your access to joy never vanishes. Because joy is so foundational to your true being, every other state or emotion can rest on top of joy, it can accommodate everything.
This means that it’s possible to grieve with your whole heart, and still sense your joy. You can feel rage, and be aware of joy waiting patiently for you to return, and take deep comfort in that.
— Danielle LaPorte, The Difference Between Happiness and Joy
Joy is Different
Joy is different than transitory happiness. Joy is most often self-generated. It’s often the result of doing hard things, feeling fear and not letting the fear stop you from doing that thing that you’re afraid of. It’s also the result of practicing gratitude and wonder and awe every day no matter what else is happening in your life. Sometimes it is taking a moment to become present and aware. And it’s about listening to the deep longings of your heart and soul.
In the midst of joy, there’s often a quiver, a shudder of vulnerability. Rather than using that as a warning sign to practice imagining the worst-case scenario, the people who lean into joy use the quiver as a reminder to practice gratitude.”
― Atlas of the Heart: Mapping Meaningful Connection and the Language of Human Experience
Happy is good. Every day I like to find little things that make me feel happy. But joy is the deep energy that sustains me even when things aren’t going well and in the midst of difficult times.
JOY BECOMES YOUR NORTH STAR. Life can be gruelling. The planet is suffocating, humans can be so cruel, there are unmet longings that we all carry. But if you can get to Joy just once today, and then once again tomorrow and the next day…you will start to create grooves to your Soul — a map to Joy. You’ll remember your way back to your natural state when you slip out of it — which you will. And you’ll do whatever it takes to stay in Joy as long as you can — even if you have to fight for it.
— Danielle LaPorte, Fighting for Your Joy
Wishing you happy moments and the pursuit of joy today and always.
May you walk in beauty.
Panorama of the annual flower display at MN Landscape Arboretum
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