Between an acute episode of vertigo with associated balance issues and a very sore left hip I’ve been moving very
Carefully and Slowly
for a couple of days.
The world-spinning vertigo is gone now, and I no longer feel the balance issues that had me grabbing onto the wall or anything else solid along my path. But my right ear still feels funny and if I move suddenly I feel a bit off balance. I also notice balance issues when I try to look through the viewfinder of my camera.
It has been a reminder of how quickly things can change in life. The loss of something so integral as balance causes me to feel quite vulnerable. And all of a sudden older than I felt just a few days ago.
Wounding and healing are not opposites. They’re part of the same thing. It is our wounds that enable us to be compassionate with the wounds of others. It is our limitations that make us kind to the limitations of other people. It is our loneliness that helps us to to find other people or to even know they’re alone with an illness. I think I have served people perfectly with parts of myself I used to be ashamed of.
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The hip pain is easier to deal with than the balance issues since I’ve had a hip replacement in my right hip and am thrilled with how that turned out. Still, I’m saying “Ouch!” a lot as I navigate the world these days.
There is a part of me that wants to stomp her foot and say, “This is NOT how I planned my year!” But that seems quite silly since this is what is right now.
One Step at a Time
Between the balance issues and the hip pain I am seeing a whole different meaning to the words, “One step at a time.”
All I can do now is to work on accepting what is, and learn what I can with the help of my doctor about what might be next steps in this amazing journey called life. I am thankful each day for what I can do.
Healing may not be so much about getting better, as about letting go of everything that isn’t you – all of the expectations, all of the beliefs – and becoming who you are.
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Yesterday I took a short walk on the path beside East Medicine Lake with my camera. I enjoyed seeing the beauty of small scenes along the way. This morning I took a short walk in the park area beside our house with my camera. Both were small journeys that brought great joy.
Today I encourage you to think about how you are to be able to navigate the world and what a blessing it is to be alive on this day in this life.
May you walk in beauty.
Note: Photos in today’s post are from my walk beside Medicine Lake yesterday.
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