The roses that I picked up on Monday continue to delight me with their soft color and layers and layers of petals. Yesterday I stacked them up on my work table and photographed them up close —
Simply Roses
with a shallow depth of field. Then I stacked images together, played around with more depth of field and finally created an abstract image by layering, slightly moving some of the layers, and using creative blend modes. This was how I distracted myself from working on my homemade book project where I am feeling stuck and stymied on how to proceed.
Not Simply Roses
I finally visited the Minnesota Center for Book Arts yesterday morning and picked up a small book-making kit (for practice) and a few book making tools. Then I came home, read the directions for making a book (not a simple thing!) and froze. My doubts shouted loudly, “How am I ever going to do this?” I went back and listened to several of online book making videos from the class I bought last fall. And I realized that I still don’t know how to meld together a hand-made book with photographs that I print myself.
A kit, some tools, some photos, a journal, some instructions, and more questions than answers
Most of the book-making instructions assume that one is making a blank journal or book to draw or paint in. But I want to make a hand-made book which contains prints that I made of selected fine art photographs I’ve created and that also contains essays and thoughts about photography and life. I want it to feel textured and intimate, a little bit old-fashioned, soft and beautiful. It requires melding different materials and techniques but I’m not sure how to create what I envision.
Are you paralyzed with fear? That’s a good sign. Fear is good. Like self-doubt, fear is an indicator. Fear tells us what we have to do. Remember one rule of thumb: the more scared we are of a work or calling, the more sure we can be that we have to do it.”
― The War of Art: Winning the Inner Creative Battle
So I searched online for advice but didn’t find anything specifically aimed at creating a hand-made book with photos and text as I envision this book. I will continue searching for more information but in the meantime it looks like I’m in for lots of trial and error.
Photos that I have selected to include in the book project
Entering Unknown Territory
I’m going to try some experiments with the book kit that I bought using different photo papers, and different page papers to see if I can learn what might create the look I imagine. And I suspect that I will also need to take one or more in-person classes at the Book Arts Center as well.
Part of me wants to give up before I go any further with this project. But I’m working hard on persevering even through my doubts and fears.
Are you a born writer? Were you put on earth to be a painter, a scientist, an apostle of peace? In the end the question can only be answered by action.
Do it or don’t do it.
…
Creative work is not a selfish act or a bid for attention on the part of the actor. It’s a gift to the world and every being in it. Don’t cheat us of your contribution. Give us what you’ve got.”
― The War of Art: Winning the Inner Creative Battle
What I am imagining that I want to create far surpasses my ability and knowledge right now. I have choices. An obvious choice is to give up. That’s not going to happen! Another choice is to adapt my vision to something easier like using Blurb or another service to print my photo/essay book. Again, that’s not going to happen, at least not yet. A third choice is to learn, practice, experiment, and build my skills until I can create what I envision. A final choice that I have begun pondering is to actively seek a book publisher. I wonder if I could actually get the book published in a format that would meet my goals for the project. This seems like an unlikely possibility but I will give it some thought.
And I may make lots more photos of simply roses (or other flowers) as I work through my fears and uncertainties about the book project.
Have you ever felt stuck or frozen in your creative work? What do you do to get unstuck?
May you walk in beauty.
Creating a mock-up of the planned book layout in Bookwright
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