Looking With Soft Eyes

I’ve been thinking about different ways of seeing the world. Today with gray skies above, new snow on the ground, and more rain/snow on the way it seems like a good day for

Looking With Soft Eyes

…and an open heart

What does it mean to look with soft eyes and an open heart? For me it is a shift from actively trying to see and do towards a kind of relaxation and receptivity. It’s kind of being/accepting of what is instead of actively doing or trying to change or fix.

When our lives are upended either by an illness or a pandemic or some other kind of deep heartbreak or a sense of loss, when we try to hold to our own routines, when we try to apply the plans that we had before such an interruption, it’s a recipe for endless frustration…

   — Suleika Jaquad

While many have embraced a post-pandemic state of mind, I have talked with friends and family who are still feeling afraid or uncertain. And I admit that I also feel that way some of the time. My life has changed. I cannot go back to the life I had before. Sometimes I grieve for the loss of innocence and safety I used to feel, though I realize that those feelings were probably an illusion.

Living In Liminal Space

We can’t go back to the life we had pre-pandemic, but the way forward is not clear either. So it’s not surprising that many people feel untethered and unsafe. Things have changed and we have changed but we do not have a map to navigate the altered landscape that we’re living in.

I read an article this morning that discussed how to move forward post-pandemic. It’s about a young woman (Suleika Jaquad) who faced a huge interruption in her life. At the age of 22 she was diagnosed with leukemia and all of her big plans for her life were put on hold. She spent four years going through treatment. Now she is dedicating her life to those who like her are living through unexpected interruptions. I’m looking forward to reading her book, Between Two Kingdoms: A Memoir of Life Interrupted, and to participating in her project called Isolation Journals where she emails a journaling prompt each week.

In the meantime here is some advice from Suleika on moving forward and beginning again after the pandemic…

One is reckoning with the impact of what we’ve all been through. 

The second is allowing ourselves the space to reimagine what our lives are going to look like moving forward, because none of us can return to the person or to the lives we had pre-pandemic. 

And the third is really identifying what we want to carry forward with us from this experience.

      — Suleika Jaquad

Soft Eyes, Open Heart

And all of this brings me back to soft eyes, open heart. This month of cataract surgery, recovery and waiting for my second cataract surgery and recovery has been teaching me many things. Though I was very intentional to leave lots of open time for healing and recovery, it’s been hard to sit back and be receptive and open. It’s hard for me to not do. And even though I’ve been as patient as I know how to be, a part of me feels like I should be doing more. It strikes me that I need to learn how to receive and rest.

To learn to swim in the ocean of not-knowing- this is my constant work.
― Suleika Jaouad, Between Two Kingdoms: A Memoir of a Life Interrupted

This month has not been “wasted” time as my ego likes to tell me. But a fertile time of considering how I see the world. Many photographers talk about photographs as “captures.” I hate that word. And I am realizing that when I am once again out and about exploring with my camera I want to be much more intentional about relaxing into seeing, seeing with soft eyes and open heart. My goal is to be more receptive, less active in my work, if that makes sense.

I’ve been so caught up in assessing the risks and armoring myself against them that it hasn’t occurred to me that there is a third way: to let things grow and change and evolve, to uncover who we are and what we want along the way—to live in that middle terrain
― Suleika Jaouad, Between Two Kingdoms: A Memoir of a Life Interrupted

My wish for you today is that you too look at life with soft eyes and an open heart.

May you walk in beauty.