Have you ever felt

Inspiration and Fear

at the same time about a creative project?

The project I’m working on right now is completely and totally compelling. I’ve collected a series of images and I’m working on printing them and creating a handmade book. My intention is to write and include some essays in the book as well. But the project is also quite scary. There is so much I don’t know yet about it.

I’ve been working on creating the images for the series and now have over 50 of them to choose from. And I’ve ordered different photo paper samples to try out. Although I have an idea in my head of what I want the photographs to look like I’m not sure what kind of paper I will be using. The only way to figure out how different art papers and photo papers work is to try them on some images. So that is one of my next steps.

Learning New Things

I’ve signed up for an online video class on making handmade art books through Domestika.  I bought a class called “Bookbinding of Your Art Work Without Folds,” for $12.95 from them. It included unlimited access to watch and re-watch the course videos. Over the past week I’ve watched about 3/4 of the class and I am so impressed with how much I am learning. The instructor is a book maker from Spain and she is so clear and careful in her instructions.

Domestika offers classes in illustration, marketing and business, photography and video, design, 3D animation, web design, writing, crafts, and more, at very affordable prices. I highly recommend that you take a look at their website and see if there is a class that might inspire you creatively. Many thanks to my friend who recommended Domestika to me!

After I figure out what kind of paper I want to print my images on there are many other decisions and experiments for my hand-made book. What material will I use for the pages? How will I assemble the book? How will I incorporate the essays I plan to write into the book? And so much more. 

Sometimes little tendrils of fear wind their way through my mind about the project. When they do, I try to talk with my fear something like this…

Dearest Fear: Creativity and I are about to go on a road trip together. I understand you’ll be joining us, because you always do. I acknowledge that you believe you have an important job to do in my life, and that you take your job seriously. Apparently your job is to induce complete panic whenever I’m about to do anything interesting – and, may I say, you are superb at your job. So by all means, keep doing your job, if you feel you must. But I will also be doing my job on this road trip, which is to work hard and stay focused. And Creativity will be doing its job, which is to remain stimulating and inspiring. There’s plenty of room in this vehicle for all of us, so make yourself at home, but understand this: Creativity and I are the only two who will be making any decisions along this way. I recognize and respect that you are part of this family, and so I will never exclude you from activities, but still – your suggestions will never be followed. You’re allowed to have a seat, and you’re allowed to have a voice, but you’re not allowed to have a vote. You’re not allowed to touch the road maps; you’re not allowed to fiddle with temperature. Dude, you’re not even allowed to touch the radio. But above all else, my dear old familiar friend, you’re absolutely forbidden to drive.”

Elizabeth Gilbert, Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear

Hello Old Friend

It’s amazing how consistently fear shows up in my creative journey. And the bigger the idea or project the bigger and louder my fear seems to be. I am learning to make friends with my fear instead of simply trying to push it away or deny it. “Yes, old friend, I hear you. We’ll take this one step at a time. And if something doesn’t work, I’ll try something else. Thank you for taking this journey with me. Thank you for caring. Now I need to get to work.”

The only antidote that works for me is to sit down and work on the project. Tiny steps. One after another. No thoughts about whether it will be good or not.

At first I invited others to look at my images and ideas for this project and give feedback. But now I’ve reached a point where I need to step back and listen to my inner creative voice. I will try many experiments but in the end I will listen to my heart about the best materials and format for the book.

My plan for the book is very loose and open. I plan to experiment with size and materials first. Then once I have some ideas about size and materials I hope to make a small sample book with just a few pages. This will give a sense of how the materials work together, and how much I have to learn yet about the mechanics of putting a book together. It feels like an interesting and exciting journey. Wish me luck.

What are your experiences with inspiration and fear? And how do you work with your fear?

May you walk in beauty.


Marilyn

Photographer sharing beauty, grace & joy in photographs and blog posts. I live in the Twin Cites in Minnesota, the land of lakes, trees, and wonderful nature.

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