Happy Saturday friends. I found a post that I wrote almost two years ago but never published. It seemed like today would be a good day to share it (with a few modifications to suit the times). So here it is…

Life is like an empty bowl waiting to be filled. What will you fill your life with?

I Fill It With Joy

For the past few years I have been focusing on filling my life with joy, both in good times and in challenging times.

It’s what I have found works best for me.

Focusing on joy has made me a happier healthier person.

Even during challenging times joy can be present. It doesn’t replace heavier feelings like grief, anger, or pain nor does it supplant them. It co-exists with them. Joy and sorrow dance together like light and dark. The presence of each is a necessary part of experience.

On Christmas Eve day a few years ago we experienced a tragedy in my family—a car accident that killed my sister-in-law and injured my brother severely. It was a challenging and sad time. And at first cultivating joy was the last thing on my mind.

But even in the darkest times, joy was there.

Initially all of the grief and shock put me into action mode. “What can I do to help? How can I fix this?” Old patterns emerged (some helpful, some dysfunctional) and I found myself feeling great helplessness and frustration with the truth that there was in fact, very little I could do.

Some things in life cannot be fixed or changed. They must simply be lived through. The year of the tragic car accident was one of those times. But even in those hard times glimmers of joy brightened my days in unexpected moments. Through grief and challenging times joy lifted me up and nourished me.

I have come to the conclusion that the best way to honor those who have been lost and the losses that cannot be changed is to live my life to the fullest, being true to myself, and following those things that bring me joy. (This seems even truer to me today during the pandemic.)

There’s a difference between the definition of happiness and the definition of joy. It’s valuable to be aware of this because when things get tough, logic might want you to default to despair, or utter sadness or worse, you might think you have to choose between hardship and joy, or support and separation, or light and dark.

 

Consciousness is not an either/or equation. It’s about bothness.

The capacity to expand into bothness — the awareness of your joy in all circumstances — is so much of what it means to evolve.

        

              — Danielle LaPorte, Blog post – The difference between happiness & joy

Joy comes from within and is not based on what is happening around me, what I have or don’t have. I believe that it’s source is the source of all things in creation. So external events and circumstances may be like fog that dims my view of joy at times, but joy is always there waiting to be chosen.

I cultivate joy with simple  actions and simple questions:

• Asking myself, “Does this bring me joy?” before committing to an activity.

• Asking myself, “Did this bring me joy?” after completing an activity

• Listening to what my body says — it always knows before my mind whether something brings me joy.

• Practicing gratitude daily by remembering at least 3 things I am grateful for each evening.

• Spending time alone in nature frequently, hugging trees, looking for beauty.

• Creating and sharing photographs.

• Meditating and praying daily.

• Cuddling with grandchildren, spending time with family. (Oh, how I wish we could do that now.)

• Snuggling with my cat.

• Connecting with friends and loved ones.

• Actively working to accept what is and let go of judgment.

• Seeking out opportunities to see winged creatures whenever I can. Seeing butterflies, dragonflies and hummingbirds always always lifts me up and fills me with joy. So does watching a flock of birds swooping and swirling in the sky. The cacophony of a gathering of trumpeter swans or whooping cranes makes me feel all fizzy inside.

• Feeling wonder for starry skies, a beautiful sunrise, a tiny leaf, tall trees, and other beauties that fill our world every day.

All of these things help me cultivate and nourish joy in my life and they fill me up so that I can be present for friends and family and get through challenging times. Now as the pandemic continues is a good time to practice cultivating and nourishing joy in everyday mundane life. If we continue to take care of one another by staying home, social distancing, and wearing masks we are helping the world.

What brings you joy? What makes you feel all fizzy inside? Your life is an empty bowl in this moment. How will you fill it? Will you fill it with joy?

May you walk in beauty (and joy).

FFe

Feeding time in Monticello, MN where the trumpeter swans gather in a section of the Mississippi River that is warmed by the Monticello power plant. (This photo was made in 2013. I don’t know whether they are still being fed there now.)