Usually ideas for what to write in my blog arise effortlessly. Lately, that’s not been true—between coping with winter weather and recent illness my idea well has been dry. The good news is that I am finally mostly recovered from the virus that knocked me back for over 3 weeks. My energy has been returning gradually this week, and I’m feeling so much better than I did!
Unfortunately Jon is still struggling with the virus and doing as little as possible this weekend. We decided to wait until tomorrow to clear our driveway from the Friday snowfall. Looking around the neighborhood at all of the other driveways that were cleared this morning, I feel a little like we’re the deadbeats of the neighborhood.
Why is it that I worry about what the neighbors think about our not clearing the driveway today? Just asking the question helps me let go of imagining what others think and accept the part of me that wants to worry about it.
Getting Clear
My recent down-time has given me plenty of time to ponder where I want to go with my photography in the coming year. In fact, enforced inactivity which interrupted my website re-design efforts was very fortuitous. I was able to get very clear about my work and focusing on what brings me joy. Today I read a lovely blog post by Katrina Kenison titled, “pause, choose.”
My best self is the one who continually steps into that invisible space between stimulus and response in which Viktor Frankl so astutely recognized an opportunity for growth and freedom. Somehow, each of us must find a way to live with the fact that goodness and evil, suffering and joy, mundanity and beauty all coexist in this complicated, precarious, contradictory world. It’s up to me, to each of us, to find a way to make of our own lives an offering, a blessing, a gift. Simple kindness seems like as good a place as any to start.
And so in this year 2020, I’ve given myself the humble yet rather profound challenge of being less reactive and more intentional. Less emotional and yet more aware. Less sensitive and yet more compassionate. Moment to moment, day by day, in big ways and in small ones.
— Katrina Kenison, in blog post “pause, choose”
Seeing Myself in Another Woman’s Words
Katrina’s description of herself in her beautifully written post could have described me to a tee — “That impulsive, impatient, critical, overly sensitive, somewhat frightened, people-pleasing self is definitely part of who I am…” And her intention to pause and choose is akin to my own intention for the year to “be here now” — different words, but a similar intention.
I had thought that I wanted to create my own online store on my website for selling fine art prints. And I had been thinking about planning and scheduling some group photography classes. I also began designing a greeting card series that I thought I might sell online and in local stores. And finally I had played with the idea of offering portrait sessions called “Soul Sessions” that would aim at capturing the inner essence of the person being photographed.
Choosing to be here now helped me to pause and choose.
Stepping back and letting go of striving and shoulds helped me to realize that none of those ideas fed my joy. That set me to pondering once again…
What makes my heart sing?
What brings me joy?
I focused on thinking about what brings me joy related to my photography and website.
My list came effortlessly:
- seeing and photographing flowers
- walking in nature with my camera
- watching birds soar through the sky
- noticing the subtle colors of sunrise and sunset
- seeing beauty everywhere
- making and sharing photographs
- writing my blog
- connecting one on one with others
- encouraging others to create
Getting clear about the things that matter most to me helped me to finish my website re-design this week. (At least this version of my website is finished.) I decided to keep my Fine Art America sales site linked to my website instead of trying to create my own online store. Because I don’t love doing portrait photography, I removed it from my website. Likewise, the only classes that I am offering are one-on-one classes. And finally I decided to make my Wild Altars video easily accessible for those who are looking for meditative photography videos.
Now my friends, I am asking for your feedback. Please take a look at my re-designed website. Check out the menus, links, and information. What do you like? And what do you dislike? You can email me or send me a message from my website.
Thank you!
May you walk in beauty.
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