It’s definitely true summer outside with hot muggy weather, green everywhere, and (as I’ve heard from others) lots of mosquitoes.
True Summer
With all the recent rain, we had a tree fall into the pond (second time since we’ve lived here). Fortunately, unlike the big old willow tree that fell into the pond a few years ago, this tree is smaller and a bit more manageable (no need for a big crane to pull it out of the pond we hope).
Tree that fell into the pond this week
Slow But Steady
I am almost 3 weeks out from hip replacement surgery and making slow but steady progress. The surgery went very well. Unfortunately I had a bad gastrointestinal reaction to the pain medication shortly after surgery. For days it felt like a bomb had gone off in my gut and I was unable to eat any food or take any pain medication. The pain of the reaction to the meds far exceeded the pain I felt from the surgery.
I’m happy to report that not eating for over a week helped my digestive systerm gradually calm down. Fortunately I’m able to eat food again (mostly without pain). I can’t tell you how good it feels to eat again!
Earlier this week I switched from using a walker to using a cane but the day before yesterday after increasing pain in my leg I switched back to the walker. Today I’ve split my time between using the walker and using a cane.
Doing a bit more each day
Each day I’m able to do a bit more. Yesterday and today I was able to dress myself without help. And I’m feeling well enough to be bored sitting in a chair reading. I’ve been watching old episodes of The British Baking Show on Netflix and driving Jon crazy with it.
I actually picked up my camera to make the images you see in this post. But a few minutes of holding the camera with long lens exhausts me.
Friday Jon took me for a drive. It felt so good to be out of the house. I’m not yet ready to tackle anything which requires much walking but just seeing people out walking around the lake was lovely. Being inside so long I feel as if I’m missing out on much of true summer—no long walks in the woods or camera outings to capture the beauty of the season.
View from the deck today
Today I hung out on the deck soaking in the beauty all around and feeling fresh breezes on my skin. The basswood trees beside the deck are in bloom and their blossoms have such a sweet scent.
Basswood tree in bloom
Tomorrow I hope to go to the warm water swimming pool to do some walking in the water. The buoyancy of water should make walking easier and less painful.
Everything that slows us down and forces patience, everything that sets us back into the slow circles of nature, is a help. — May Sarton
My spot on the deck
Now is the time I get to practice patience and perseverance (not my strongest skills). I am actually looking forward to doing things like washing dishes, cooking a meal, and cleaning house! These are simple things that I often take for granted. But they no longer seem quite so simple. What a gift it is to be capable of doing small things like cooking, cleaning, and ambulating independently.
It has been interesting noticing how I think and behave during this enforced idleness, dependency and pain. During times of intense pain I practiced being present. It was hard! If I managed a single round of my favorite breathing meditation mantra (“In-Out-Deep-Slow-Calm-Ease-Smile-Release”) I felt victorious. Each time I repeated “Smile” to myself I found that I ended up taking a deep releasing breath. It was amazingly helpful to focus on relaxing and noticing the pain instead of tightening around it, though difficult to sustain open attention for very long.
Patience is not passive, on the contrary it is concentrated strength.” — Bruce Lee
Being dependent on others to help care for me has also been a learning experience. In the beginning when I was working hard just to stay afloat during the pain, Jon’s support and presence was incredibly comforting. I asked for and received comforting foot and hand massages that helped distract me from the pain.
As the pain eased and I became more independent, I began wanting to do as much as I could for myself. I ignored Jon’s advice on what I should and should not do. Even as a child I hated unsolicited advice or help. My response to Jon’s unsolicited advice or help has been much the same, though I do try to be grateful for his helpfulness.
Each tiny independent step I am able to take for myself feels like a victory. I often wait until Jon is out shopping or doing yard work to try yet another foray into independence. He is slowly learning to let me do what I can for myself. I’m feeling good enough to be grumpy about being stuck indoors.
“Knowing trees, I understand the meaning of patience. Knowing grass, I can appreciate persistence.”
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Slowly I shall regain my mobility. Patiently I will practice being present and feeling gratitude and joy for each moment no matter what it brings.
May you walk in beauty. (with patience, gratitude and grace)
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