It’s okay to have an imperfect life—everyone does

“Some days I wake up
and all I feel
are the fractures
in the flesh
that covers
the only me
I’ve ever known.
Some days,
it’s those exact
fissures
that let the light
hiding inside me
pour out
and cover
in gold
everyone
that found enough beauty
in the cracks
to stand
close.”
― Tyler Knott Gregson

Have you ever been in awe or even slightly intimidated by someone who appears to you to have it all together? I spent much of my youth and young adulthood thinking that everyone else had their act together and that I was the only one struggling to accept my flawed self.

For far too much of the time I was comparing my inner self to other people’s exteriors and thinking that I should be more like them.

As I got older I saw glimmers of how what appeared on the surface of others was not always true. And over the years I also learned to become more compassionate and loving towards myself.

Now I know that everyone has their own stuff. And no one has a perfect life. Just as butterflies often develop tattered wings as they move through life, people develop their own tatters and tears along the way. They may not be immediately visible but they are there never-the-less. Even when we look on the outside like we have it all together, the inside story is different.

Shining brightly

Recently we had a young singer/songwriter whom I admire greatly speak at a women’s retreat at our church. In her talk she revealed the struggles she has with negative thoughts and talked about her challenging childhood and how practicing mindfulness has helped her challenge the “Real but not true thoughts” of her mind.

As she revealed her own fissures and cracks to us in her talk, I felt that her light shone even more brightly. And I understood more about some of the sources of her creativity and the uplifting lyrics of her songs.

I found it affirming to be reminded once again that often our outsides don’t match our insides. And that all of us live imperfect lives. It is the nature of being human.

When we open our hearts and allow our imperfect selves to be fully seen, we let our own light shine.

“Because true belonging only happens when we present our authentic, imperfect selves to the world, our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self-acceptance.”
― Brené Brown, Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead

As an artist I am learning that the more I express my authentic imperfect self, the more I connect with those who see my art. Maybe it’s time to let your authentic imperfect self shine out through all your fissures and cracks.

Spread the light that is within you and let yourself shine.

May you walk in beauty.