In early November I began working part-time to help out a friend who had 2 staff members (in a 4-person non-profit higher ed accreditation agency) resign in a short interval of time. Since I began working in the office, I have picked up my camera only a few times.
Instead I’ve been learning the accounting and systems at the office and I’ve been working through a flare-up of colitis and one virus after another that leave me well enough to work but sap my energy for doing anything extra like going out hiking or exploring with my camera.
It saddens me to spend so little time on my creative work at this time. And it gladdens me to be able to help my friend in a time of need.
Once we get caught up with things in the office and get a sense of how the different responsibilities will be divided and structured amongst staff members, he will hire someone for the long haul and I will happily embrace my photography and writing again.
It’s been very interesting working at a job again after 5 1/2 years of following my own interests and time table. There is something very satisfying for me in figuring things out, making a list of tasks, and ticking them off one by one. The work there is so tangible—record and classify check deposits, create invoices for new or changed educational programs which need to be accredited, reimburse accreditation site visitors for travel expenses, enter accounts payable in the online system, update the formatting of a manual, upload electronic documents from colleges—but it is not the work that makes my heart sing nor is it the work I am meant to be doing forever.
It has been fun and interesting taking on a new challenge and it gratifies my ego when I figure something out or complete the tasks faster or more easily than the day before. But it is not my work.
Taking on this short part-time job has helped me get even clearer about what my work is. It’s so simple.
The Greatest Gift
I have been given a wondrous gift of falling totally and completely in love with photography. Not only does this love of photography bring me great joy, it teaches me about who I am, and asks me to dig deeper into expressing my unique voice as an artist.
“It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.” — Matthew Burgess, Enormous Smallness (a lovely new children’s book about E. E. Cummings)
This love of photography is the greatest gift I’ve ever received and the most challenging task master.
It demands that I grow and become more who I really am.
I can’t think of more important work for any of us.
Having lived most of my life not being totally in love with the work I was doing (I liked my work, I just didn’t love it) I am not about to let go of this gift or to let short-term ego gratification seduce me into doing something easier.
In my photography work my focus is on growing myself as a photographer rather than on a specific task or tasks. The creative muse comes some days and doesn’t on other days. My photos miss the mark more often than they hit it. But despite the frustrations, the work brings me joy, challenges me, excites me, and fills me with purpose.
May you be given a gift like this and may you recognize it and embrace it.
May you walk in beauty.
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