Three Generous Interpretations

Some years ago, a facilitator/trainer in a workshop I was taking suggested that we each embrace a wonderful life-long practice. She called the practice, Three Generous Interpretations.

The practice goes like this. When someone does something that usually elicits an expletive or angry thought from you, notice your impulse to feel angry or to swear, but don’t give in to it.

Instead, imagine three generous interpretations for the behavior that made you start to feel angry. For example, if someone honks at me at a stop light because I didn’t take off fast enough I might imagine…

Maybe he’s driving his pregnant wife to the hospital and he’s afraid they won’t make it there before the baby arrives.

Maybe he’s been unemployed for over a year, and this is the first job interview he’s landed, and he’s afraid he will be late for it.

Maybe he promised to pick up his kids from school and forgot about it. Now he’s frantically trying to get there before they get upset.

Or imagine this scenario, the clerk in the grocery store is surly and grumpy. He dumps your change in your hand so roughly that half of it falls on the floor. I might imagine…

He recently lost an important person in his life and he’s still grieving for the loss. Instead of feeling sad, he’s decided to be angry with the world.

He’s at the end of a long shift and his feet are killing him. As the pain increases, his mood worsens and he’s not even aware of how gruff he is.

He was laid off from a high-paying job and this is the only job he could find. He’s worried about whether his family will be able to pay the bills this month. The gourmet and organic items I just bought reminded him of just how much his family’s life has changed.

It’s an easy practice and I think it is a wonderful compassion builder. After imagining the different scenarios I almost always notice how very blessed I feel in my life and how fortunate I am.

Next time someone’s behavior irritates you, try this practice and notice how it makes you feel. It might just be a lovely way to brighten your day.

May you walk in beauty.