Abstract orchid swirl
Sometimes you get unexpected surprises that throw all of your plans catawampus. Yesterday was such a day for me.
For most of the past week and over the weekend I experienced some steadily increasing pain in my back . In fact, a few of the sharp twinges I felt over the weekend made me wonder what was going on. But they went away and I was left with a dull ache that was manageable.
“Shut your mouth; open your eyes and ears. Take in what is there and give no thought to what might have been there or what is somewhere else.”
― C.S. Lewis, Surprised by Joy: The Shape of My Early Life
I had plans for Monday that included making a weekly menu, doing our grocery shopping for the week, going to yoga class, taking a walk outdoors, and editing photos.
As I got started on my plans I noticed that the dull ache that I had experienced during the past week was steadily growing into constant sharp pain in my left flank deep under my ribs.
iPhone slow shutter speed photo
It was accelerating so quickly that I called my doctor’s office but they had no appointments available. They sent me to the Urgent Care clinic where I saw a very unhelpful doctor who seemed to be fixated on doing an x-ray of my ribs looking for a rib fracture, even though I reported no injuries that would cause a cracked rib. Frustrated, I refused the chest x-ray and went home, hoping that the pain would resolve on it’s own.
It didn’t.
Despite the pain, I made a few experimental photos with my DSLR and iPhone camera after being inspired by watching part of Tony Sweet’s video Flower Photography Artistry.
The pain continued to escalate until finally at 9:30 pm, realizing that I wouldn’t be able to sleep, I went to the emergency room at a nearby hospital. Talking with the young emergency room doc, this was one time that I eagerly accepted pain medication to cut the constant sharp pain.
iPhone slow shutter/multiple exposure photo
Surprised by Joy
Once the medication took effect I noticed that I was surprised by joy despite the challenging day that had not gone at all according to plans. Lying in the emergency room bed, chatting with my husband, responding to concerned texts from my best friend, I relaxed into allowing myself to be taken care of. I felt gratitude for the drugs that numbed my pain without numbing my mind. I felt acceptance for whatever was going on and I felt confident that all would be well.
“The universe rings true whenever you fairly test it.”
― C.S. Lewis, Surprised by Joy: The Shape of My Early Life
After urine tests, blood tests, an x-ray of my lungs looking for blood clots or masses in my lungs, and a CT scan of my abdomen looking for a kidney stone, all test results were normal. The doctor’s best guess was that a small kidney stone was causing the pain but had moved out of the kidneys prior to the CT scan. They sent me home with more pain medication and instructions to set up an appointment with my personal physician.
This morning I woke and discovered the pain was almost gone—just an echo remains that feels like a bruise. Listening to my body, I rested much of the day.
I am no longer surprised by joy, but I continue to rest in joy and gratitude for the wonders of this body and the “one mystery less” resolution of the pain I experienced.
Sometimes the answers we seek are unknowable. But joy can exist even in uncertainty.
When have you been surprised by joy?
May you walk in beauty.
Note: all of the photos in today’s post were made yesterday during my camera play.
HDR iPhone photo
Multiple exposure DSLR telephoto swirl photo
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