Quote of the day: “Learning to let go of expectations is a ticket to peace. It allows us to ride over every crisis—small or large, brother-in-law or end-of-quarter office lockdown—like a beach ball on water. The next time a problem arises in your life, take a deep breath, let out a sigh, and replace the thought Oh no! with the thought Okay.” ― Martha N. Beck

Letting go of expectations

This week’s hot humid weather reminds me to let go of expectations and glide into each day on a wave of appreciation for whatever is happening.

I haven’t always been so accepting. Like many with my midwest farm upbringing, following the weather forecast was a daily habit. What’s the weather going to be like tomorrow? Or, “It wasn’t supposed to rain today!” as everyone scrambles for cover during an outdoor picnic.

That practice was perhaps necessary, in a place where preparing before an upcoming snowstorm in the winter meant the difference between life and death, or hunger and cold, and warmth and comfort.

But paying attention to the weather and preparing for possible storms aside, most of us spend a lot of time complaining about the weather just because it doesn’t match our expectations of the moment.

Complaining about the weather is a safe topic, that fills air space. Even in the city, where I now live, complaints about the weather are frequent. When it’s “supposed to be” springtime and yet another snowstorm drops a foot of snow lots of us complain a lot!

Ready to bloom

Notice that key phrase, “supposed to be”

So much suffering comes from such a little phrase and all of the feelings that come with it.

Last winter when I was living at a small Buddhist Bed & Breakfast on the rainy side of the Big Island, I looked up the weather forecast every day and every day it looked the same—rainclouds, with varying percentages of the probability of rain. The first week I was there, the weather was warm and sunny almost every day, with maybe a short rain shower sometime during the night. I celebrated my wonderful winter escape from foul weather and felt, oh, so happy.

The next week it rained all week. Rain came down in downpours off and on each and every day of the week. All of my belongings were damp. I felt as if mildew and mold might soon start growing on my own skin. And I suffered because the weather was not as I expected it to be.

I began gauging the “goodness” of each day on whether it was primarily rainy or sunny and I bemoaned the many rainy days even though I knew that I was there during the rainy season on the rainy side of the island.

I soon noticed that my host at the Bed and Breakfast where I lived (Akiko) never worried about what the weather was going to be. She had an amazing way of flowing through her days without anticipating any particular weather, but taking advantage of whatever was happening. And she radiated joy and purpose in almost everything she did.

Years of Zen meditation had taught her to live in the moment.

If the sun was shining (and most days it did shine for part of the day) she enjoyed the sunshine and outdoor work at the B&B. If it was raining, she enjoyed the rain and found something that needed to done indoors or she took some time to practice Hula in the garage.

Every moment, no matter what was occurring, Akiko was without expectations. And she didn’t waste time bemoaning or discussing things she could not change. I noticed that when I asked her the stock question, “How are you today, Akiko?” she always, always gave the same answer, “I’m alive.” I stopped asking her how she was because that question was a meaningless question.

Whatever is, is

Slowly I started learning to appreciate the weather, no matter what it was. On cloudy days, I could take long walks without getting too hot, the light was great for closeup nature photography, the air cooler. Many days were filled with on again, off again rain, but the rain was soft and gentle. In such a warm climate, getting a little bit wet wasn’t a problem.

And when it rained hard, it was wonderful to sit indoors and read, listening to the rhythms of the rain on the roof, being thankful for having a cozy place to watch the rain.

One day I voiced my concerns about whether I could get to the beach and swim before it rained. Akiko laughed and said, “So what if it rains? What’s the worst that can happen – go gonna get wet no matter whether it rains or not!”

So I went swimming as the clouds moved in and had the beach almost to myself. And it did start raining while I was there, Standing in the ocean in the gentle rainfall I had one of the most mystical, magical experiences of my life. As the raindrops gently landed on the surface of the salty ocean, the translucent, glowing, spherical drops floated on the surface of the ocean like a million tiny lights. Then drop by drop, they dissolved into the ocean from whence they came. From the illusion of separation back to oneness.

Try letting go of expectations and breath in the peace of accepting what is each moment.

iPhone Art – 2 photos combined