How easy does this want to be?

Quote of the day: “Life can be as easy as you wish to make it, or as difficult as you are prepared to believe that it is.”
― Steven Redhead, The Solution

Playing around with soft focus on a vase filled with wild violets

How often do you ask yourself, “How easy does this want to be?” 

This weekend I plan to photograph my brother’s wedding—because he asked me to.

I’ve never photographed a wedding nor paid a lot of attention to photographers at weddings. I’ve never wanted to photograph a wedding. I have taken portraits and I enjoy making portraits of individuals and families. But weddings are much bigger, longer, more stressful.

As the wedding grows closer, I’ve been feeling more and more stress. Here are some of the stories and beliefs that I’ve been telling myself that create stress for me:

• I don’t know enough, have the right equipment, have the right experience
• I’m not detail-oriented enough when I take group photos
• I’m not into posing people and I don’t know how to pose them
• the pictures have to be perfect
• this is going to be a lot of work and too physically challenging for me (because of long-term health issues)
• I have to get photos of everything – before, during, after
• if I don’t take great photos of this wedding that means I’m a crappy photographer

Of course the list could go on and on, but you get the idea.

Today, I finally stepped back and realized that I’m the one creating all the pressure and stress. I want to do a good job of this. I want to make really super photos for my brother and his lovely fiancé.

Deep breath—How easy does this want to be?

Can I turn around my original thought and belief, “I have to make great photos of this wedding,” and create a thought that brings me ease?

Here are some possibilities:

• I don’t have to make great photos of this wedding
• I have to make terrible photos of this wedding
• I get to make great photos of this wedding

Oh! Here is a thought that lights me up and brings me ease!  I get to do this thing I love to help preserve memories of a special day for my brother and his (soon-to-be) wife. I’ll be doing something I love (photography) for some people I love! It will be such fun to see what I can see through the lens of my trusty Rebel (Canon Rebel T2I).

I’m not saying that I think my little self-story that created stress is the same as many tragedies that befall people in their lives. Life is big and full of birth and death and joy and sorrow and “the full catastrophe.”

But if you find yourself stressing out about little things like the weather or what to wear today or being perfect at something, I suggest you ask yourself this question, “How easy does this want to be?” See if it makes a difference for you.

Shapes, color, light

Light and bright