Cultivating a soft heart

Quote of the day: “Have a strong mind and soft heart.” —Anthony J. D’Angelo

Bloodroot wildflower at Big Willow Park, Minnetonka, MN

During a lovely weekend with my daughter, her husband, and our two grandkids, ages 5 and 3, my heart was feeling full and soft.  We had so much fun visiting with our daughter and her husband and playing with the grandkids.

I think it’s easy to have a soft heart around kids, especially your own grandkids. But it can be challenging to maintain that soft heart when we return to our daily lives and all of the worries and cares return.

As we were heading home to the Twin Cities I found that about 7 hours into our 8-hour-long trip, I was tired, grumpy and frazzled and I finally reached a point where I didn’t want to hear another thing my husband said. Rather than yell at him for no good reason, I pulled out my ipod and put on some good music. But you could still cut the tension in the air with a knife as I tried and failed to soothe my ruffled feathers.

Surprisingly, the feelings of grumpiness with my husband didn’t subside after we got home. It was a most irrational anger as I wasn’t mad at any particular thing. All he had to do was breath and I was pissed off. Now, I’ve learned that when I am reacting to someone or something in a way that seems irrational, it’s usually something internal setting me off.

So I took myself out to the woods for a walk and some photography this morning and finally I was able to realize that it was me that I didn’t want to be around. I’m working on changing my thinking and behaviors in a very deep way and I’m finding it one of the most challenging things I’ve done in a long time.

To help me maintain a soft heart and compassion and kindness towards myself during this period of change, I’m going to need to use all of my tools. Here are a few tools that help me cultivate a soft heart:

1. Walks alone in the woods
2. Making photographs
3. Reading poetry
4. Meditation
5. Exercise
6. Inspiring music
7. Making things (can be crafts, meals, gardens)

What fills you up and helps you cultivate a soft heart?

Bloodroot Wildflower - notice leaf wrapped around flower stem

Trio of Bloodroot wildflowers

Bloodroot Blossom