Quote of the day:
“Silence is a prerequisite for the profound.” Thus, I went quiet and created photographs for myself and no one else. I returned to my core. Or rather, I am returning to my core, for this journey is still new and the wounds are still fresh. – Chris Orwig
St. Paul Farmer’s Market
Last time you heard from me, I took some time off to “Soul Whisper.”
It has been a lovely week and a challenging week, letting go of all the “would-a, should-a, could-a” crap so that I could hear the whispers of my soul.
My ego seems intent on running the same old programs over and over again about “success,” “meaning,” and “status.” And when physical pain levels rachet up, my ego goes into overdrive, trying to figure a way out of the pain.
Chili Peppers at Farmer’s Market
I think our culture pushes the same programs about status, money, worthiness, and problem-solving (i.e. figuring it all out). So it is no surprise that even though I decided two and a half years ago to follow my heart and not my head, that I regularly experience reality checks that show me how the old programs have leaked into my life again and again.
Onions at Farmer’s Market
This summer my brother asked me to photograph his wedding. It was a surprisingly joyful experience for me. And afterwards, I started thinking, “I might be able to make some money doing this.” Notice that making money was the motivation, not, “I love doing this and I want to do more of it.” During the course of the summer, I photographed 3 more weddings for friends and acquaintances, one of them my first paid wedding gig.
I’m glad that I photographed the weddings, though I have much to learn if I ever decided to photograph weddings for a living. Most importantly I learned that while I enjoy helping out friends this way, it is not what makes my heart sing. And it is far too physically demanding for my body’s current condition.
Garlic
Last spring I taught my first photography class, because it brought me joy to share my love of photography. Three weeks ago I completed my plans for teaching 3 classes this fall, not for the love of it, but because it seemed like a way to make some income. As I contemplated teaching these 3 classes, I realized that teaching 3 classes was too much. It would not leave time to do the kind of photography work I want to do. Fortunately I can still shift the schedule around and not offer so many classes.
And I realized that the one class that I am planning that really jazzes me is one I offered to do for free for some 10-year old boys interested in photography. What fun, introducing the joys of photography to kids! What a great way to make a difference.
Green and Yellow Beans
Earlier this summer I signed up to sell cards and photographs at two farmer’s markets and quickly learned that sitting in a booth selling my work was excruciating for an introvert like me.
A friend said something to me yesterday that is still reverberating in my mind:
“Soul work cannot be marketed and branded. It just doesn’t work that way.”
And that is what my soul whispered to me in so many ways during the past week or two.
I need to spend more time making photos and exploring photography, not figuring out ways to sell photography and make money.
During the past week I’ve gone on more photography outings than in the past 3 months.
Nothing big. Nothing long. Nothing further than 30 miles from where I live.
But, oh what a difference it makes, even when I’m experiencing pain, to do what I love intentionally, before doing what I think I “should” do.
Flowers at Farmer’s Market
Speaking of pain, my whole reason for taking a break for soul whispering was in response to the physical pain I was experiencing, right? WRONG – it wasn’t about the pain, the pain comes and goes, and life goes on. It’s all in how I respond to the pain. When I’m doing what I love it doesn’t matter so much. If I start going off-course, following ego instead of soul, then the pain becomes an issue.
Just like a little kid having a tantrum, my ego wants what it wants when it wants it and makes big noise when it doesn’t get it (like racheting up my pain levels).
Soul whispering is a much quieter process. The whispers I hear from my soul relate to yearning to experience beauty, create beauty, share beauty, and spend time in nature. There is no thought of outcome, just doing it because I love it.
I know that what I’m doing seems incomprehensible to many who are doing all they can just to survive. When you’re in the midst of a busy life raising a family, working in your career, or looking for work to support yourself and your family, soul whispering doesn’t seem all that important. I get that. I spent much of my life in that mindset.
But it is important to listen for the whisperings of your soul…
even though it seems impossible.
It is possible.
I sense a great shift taking place in the world although much of it is still not visible because it’s not part of the story the media tells us. If you look around you will see it. Every day I read stories or meet people who are living life-affirming lives, choosing love instead of fear, doing what they love against all odds—the great turning.
We must stop living as if consuming is the most important thing we do.
Create a space for soul whispering in your life. Listen to the yearnings of your heart and soul.
Note: All of the photos in today’s post were taken at the St. Paul Farmer’s Market last weekend. Just looking at all of the beautiful vegetables, fruits, and flowers there brought me joy! Seeing all of the people shopping there was also a joy!
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